


Trouble

by rravii



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Also feelings, Basically Just Smut, M/M, based roughly on the all in mv, in which hoseok is a mystery and hyunwoo thinks a lot but also kinda just doesn't care, so smut with a tinsy bit of plot maybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 11:47:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6904705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rravii/pseuds/rravii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hoseok's like the ocean. Beautiful and untamed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

The sky is already pitch black by the time they make it back home, back into safety, lightened up by sharp, twinkling stars, and the moon that stands proudly above them. Their journey home would have been a longer one if it hadn’t been to an unremarkable, broken house in a town that had been torn down so many times due to battles and war that it hadn’t really managed to recover fully between rounds. Houses were warmed up with fire, the glow from the windows illuminating the streets, torches littering the streets, lighting their way home. 

Electricity was a privilege they’d kissed goodbye some years ago. Hyunwoo remembers having it - he remembers television and video games and light bulbs and microwaves, but it’s all gone now. They don’t have time to worry over those things, anyway. They’re too busy trying to survive. 

Getting electricity through the entire town isn’t something they can do, but they can charge up a few houses - hospitals, government buildings, oh, and the houses of those with money. The rest of them? Fuck it, who cares, they’re all just weak, soon-to-be-dead people, anyway. 

The door closes behind him as Hyunwoo makes it across the room to start lighting up his own house. He’s doing what he can to save money and doesn’t have much to begin with, so he gets the lighter from the only table in the small house, and makes his way to the window, where a few candles sit on the window sill, varying in shapes and sizes and the history from where they came from, and starts lighting them, one by one. They weren’t all obtained legally, and once he thinks about it, Hyunwoo realizes that at most, one of them was. The others were lifted from stores or open windows or the streets. 

Hyunwoo steals most things, but his poor attempt at an excuse is that he's in a crutch. He’s already piss poor and now he’s in a bad spot regarding money, he needs it to keep his grandfather, the only relative that cares for him that he has left, alive. Someone once told him, ‘Sometimes you have to do bad things to get good results.’

That very someone stands behind him, silently watching, silently waiting. Hyunwoo knows how the night is going to play out. This isn’t the first time Hoseok went home with him, and it probably isn't going to be the last, either. 

Once all the candles are lit, Hyunwoo turns around and heads back to the table with the objective to place down the lighter, but upon seeing that Hoseok has already removed his shirt, the permanently inked x on his chest standing out, he chooses to lower himself down onto the chair, captivated by the look on Hoseok’s face. 

Generally, they remove their clothes together in a hurry, fuck, and either fall asleep together or either one (Hoseok - it’s always Hoseok) leaves. But this time is different, this time Hoseok is carefully watching him with a glint in his eyes that’s already causing a sensation in the bottom of Hyunwoo’s stomach and a stirring even lower. The lopsided grin on Hoseok’s face grows even bigger, and Hyunwoo knows that he’s aware of the effect he’s having. 

Slowly, Hoseok removes the rest of his clothes. He makes a show out of it, teasing as he does it slowly, arching to his own touch, and Hyunwoo isn’t certain which one of them enjoys it more. Eventually, all the clothes are on the floor, and Hoseok stands before him, naked. He stands still only for a moment, only for a short time that Hyunwoo can savor, but then he makes his way over to Hyunwoo and into his lap, straddling him, and as an instinct Hyunwoo’s hands move to grasp at his body. 

He enjoys Hoseok’s body, there’s no denying that he looks stunning, but as day turned into night, the warmth turned into cold. They soon won’t have to worry about warming themselves up, they’re about to create a lot of heat between the two, but until that happens, Hoseok’s going to be that much more colder than Hyunwoo, at least if they remain in this state.

Instead of rushing in, Hyunwoo decides he wants to savor this moment, wants to savor this new turn adding a difference to their general nights together. Conveniently enough, Hyunwoo’s sad excuse of a bed is close to the chair in this crammed little house, so he reaches down and only has to stretch out just enough that their positions get a little awkward for a moment, before he grasps the blanket he uses to warm himself at night and pulls them back into previous positions, wrapping the blanket around Hoseok’s shoulders, but leaves it open enough that he can still enjoy the view in front of him. 

Hoseok seems to appreciate the gesture as he reaches forward, gently touching Hyunwoo’s face before pressing their lips together in a soft, chaste kiss, and once he pulls back, he closes the gap again between the two by pressing his forehead against Hyunwoo’s. 

That glint is still in his eyes and he still smells like the flowers - larkspur. They’d just spent their time prior to this cooking them with the others and turning them into the elixirs, but even so, Hyunwoo had long since gotten off his high, this crazed carelessness and almost madness the fumes bring. He’s not so sure Hoseok has. 

But on the other hand, Hoseok’s always been like this. He’s the type of person to smell of flowers but have a glint in his eyes that speaks nothing but trouble. He’s got a heart, a kind one, and he could be so good if he wasn’t so chaotic. He’ll care for you and protect you from harm, but his definition of protection often results in a trail of blood and a grin on his lips and not a single regret. 

Sometimes, Hoseok reminds him of the ocean. It can be beautiful, it can be gentle and soft and it can make you want to feel like you never want to leave, but it can also be ugly, so ugly and destructive, it can rip your feet from under you and drag you down, further and further from the surface, as your throat clenches up and you know you’ll never get up again to breathe. 

But then you draw a breath in desperation and your lungs fill with water and you feel peaceful in your final moment. 

Hoseok’s like the ocean. He’s like the ocean, and Hyunwoo wants him to remain beautiful. 

“What are you thinking about?” Hoseok questions, fingers coming up once again, just barely ghosting over his skin as they trace Hyunwoo’s facial features. 

“You.” Hyunwoo answers truthfully, and Hoseok’s grin transforms into the closest thing to a genuine smile he’s capable of showing. 

Hyunwoo wants him to remain beautiful, because Hoseok can also destroy without feeling a single regret. 

Hoseok grinds down a little, almost subtly, and Hyunwoo’s hands slide from where they had been holding the blanket securely around Hoseok, to his waist, pulling him closer. Hoseok’s lips keep twitching, like he’s trying to speak but always backing out at the last second. It looks like Hyunwoo’s answer left him speechless, so he distracts the younger by pressing their lips together again. Hoseok gives out a little whine, which Hyunwoo replies to by biting at his bottom lip, causing Hoseok to open his mouth, allowing their tongues to meet. 

Hyunwoo wants him to remain beautiful, because that’s probably what he would have been like had he lived a normal life. 

Hoseok hasn’t told them much about himself. He doesn’t really get personal, not like that, but it’s no secret they’ve all been through some shit. It’s difficult to live like this and it’s changed them from who they were meant to be. 

Sometimes Hyunwoo likes to fantasize about what his life would have been had he been fortunate enough to be born elsewhere - in a place that isn’t torn apart by war, in a place he can go to sleep every night and know he’ll be safe tomorrow, in a place where he can get an education and a job and a house and a wife and two children and a dog and a fence around his garden. He wouldn’t be like this. He wouldn’t struggle, he wouldn’t steal - he’d be a good person. They all would be. 

Right?

All of Hyunwoo’s thoughts come to a screeching halt when a hand snakes his way underneath his pants to grasp at his dick. He gets pulled completely back away from his thoughts and his fantasies about how things could have been and into the now, to where he’s become a bad person and another bad person sits on his lap, with his hand underneath his pants, grinning against his lips as he strokes him as much as he can with the restrictions of the angle and the fabric. 

Hoseok pulls away from the kiss, just far enough away that he can speak clearly. “Me?” He asks, tone teasing yet there’s also an element of surprise that he hadn’t been able to hide. Hyunwoo merely hums in reply, not really wanting to bother with having a conversation, not one where he needs to think, not while there’s a hand wrapped around his cock. He closes the gap between the two again, pressing his lips against Hoseok’s as his hands snake from his waist and down to the curve of his ass, grasping the cheeks firmly in his hands, and when Hoseok gasps, he uses the opportunity to deepen their kiss again. Lifting his hand up, Hyunwoo drives it down again on his cheek, slapping the soft skin, causing Hoseok to gasp again, followed by a soft chuckle that gets swallowed by Hyunwoo's mouth against his.

It’s different, but it’s nice. Usually, when the two get together, they rush to sex. They get too impatient and too horny and too eager to get to have their releases, that they don’t really waste much time. Maybe it’s because things are different now, because they’re no longer just hopeless street boys waiting to either die on the streets or be recruited by an army they don’t wish to fight for and dying on the battle field during a pointless war. Maybe it’s because they’re taking matters into their own hands, brewing something that can heal, brewing something the government doesn’t want them to create, treading where they don’t wish them to go, pushing against the boundaries that aren’t meant to be pushed, refusing to stay lying when they’ve been kicked down. 

Sometimes you have to do bad things to get good results. 

They’re in trouble. If it’s discovered what they’re doing, what they’ve done and what they’re about to do, they’ll likely be executed. 

Maybe that’s why they’re savoring this moment. 

“Bed.” Hoseok mumbles against Hyunwoo’s lips and he doesn’t argue. Hyunwoo pulls him closer against his body and Hoseok removes the hand from his pants to wrap it around Hyunwoo’s neck. The blanket pools down around Hoseok’s middle, and as Hyunwoo grasps him closer to his body and rises from the seat, carrying the other, the blanket falls to the floor entirely. Hoseok shudders from the sudden cold against his skin, so Hyunwoo hurries over to where his makeshift bed is, which is honestly just a thin mat covered with a thinner blanket and a pillow, and gently lowers Hoseok down, following him and trapping him between the mat and his body. 

Instead of pressing their lips together again, Hyunwoo pays attention to Hoseok’s neck instead, leaving open mouthed kisses and letting his teeth graze against the skin. It emits a throaty, breathy groan from Hoseok, and he tangles his hands in Hyunwoo’s hair. As Hyunwoo goes further and further down with his mouth, his body arches to the touch. 

Once Hyunwoo’s kissed his way down to the inked x on his chest, Hoseok’s hands leave Hyunwoo’s hair, to grasp at something above his head. Hyunwoo’s tongue dips out, teasing the inked skin a little before he drags it along the tattoo. The action emits a shudder from Hoseok, but also a breathy laughter. It encourages Hyunwoo to continue giving the area attention, so he teasingly nibs at the skin before biting at it and pulling at it gently. Hoseok writhes underneath him, so he continues to press sloppy kisses to the area, but stops once Hoseok’s hands come down onto his body again, grasping at his shirt, pulling at the fabric. 

“Hyunwoo...” Hoseok whines, tugging at the shirt, reminding him that he’s fully clothed while Hoseok’s the stark opposite. He raises himself up into a sitting position and tugs his shirt off, giving Hoseok a clear view of his body, and lets the shirt drop down to the ground. Hoseok’s eyes instantly flicker down to his tanned and defined skin, and they grow a little hooded. 

Leaning down again, Hyunwoo presses his lips against Hoseok's, who meets the kiss with more eagerness than he’d been expecting, and when Hyunwoo pulls away, Hoseok tries to follow him, trying to keep them from parting. Hyunwoo brings up his hand to press against Hoseok’s chest to push him down again, and then moves further down his body. 

Hoseok’s already hard, probably harder than Hyunwoo whose erection is pressing uncomfortably against his pants, but he doesn’t want to remove them just yet, he doesn’t want to rush things, he doesn’t want to break away from this new path of theirs to travel down the familiar, but enjoyable one. His hand comes around Hoseok’s cock and pumps it once, twice, causing Hoseok to let out a moan, but then stops, keeping his hand around his length and his eyes on Hoseok, letting his other hand travel further down, and uses his index finger to gently rub at his entrance. 

A second moan escapes his lips, but a more quiet and breathy one. Hyunwoo continues to tease the entrance, rubbing his finger along the sensitive skin, letting it dip in just the slightest every now and then, enough to tease Hoseok but not enough to hurt him. He removes his other hand from his dick and down to his balls, where he massages them gently. Hoseok’s throat is letting an endless stream of whimpers and quiet moans escape his lips, and it’s making it hard for Hyunwoo to continue like this without paying any attention to himself. 

His dick is starting to strain really uncomfortably against his pants and the desire to touch himself is almost becoming too much because the sight of Hoseok, lying there underneath him, completely spread out in all his glory, whimpering and panting with his half lidded eyes, grasping at the pillow and the blanket underneath them, because of what Hyunwoo is doing to him, is really, _really_ fucking hot. 

He probably won’t make Hoseok come like this, but if he continues, he’ll definitely push him close to the edge, so he stops now, before it becomes uncomfortable, and pulls away, but not before giving Hoseok’s knee a soft peck. Hyunwoo can hear him exhale, but doesn’t catch his expression since he’s already turned his back on him, walking as comfortably as he can to his bag of essentials he unfortunately kept at pretty much the other side of the house. 

It’s a bag he’s had for a year or two now, something he had prepared in case the gunfire would start again and the bombs would drop again and he’d need to leave and leave now, but due to recent events, that bag has been on his mind a lot. He goes over it regularly, making sure that it holds everything he needs. He keeps pretty much all his personal and priced belongings there, along with items he needs for survival, everything he can fit in there. 

From the bag, he pulls out lube - _yes_ , it’s an essential item, you never know when you’ll need it - and makes his way back to where Hoseok is lying, patiently waiting for him. It’s given him a bit of a time to cool down, but his chest is still rising and falling at an increased pace, and his eyes are still hooded, and he still looks so damn gorgeous. Hyunwoo lets the tube of lube fall down to the blanket, Hoseok’s eyes following it for a moment, and he bites his bottom lip, but looks up again when Hyunwoo starts to fiddle with removing his pants. 

Finally freeing his cock feels so good that he strokes himself a few times before he’s even gotten his pants fully off, but then pulls them off all the way, along with his socks. Grabbing the lube, Hyunwoo pours some out onto two of his fingers, smearing it over them with his thumb, and Hoseok shifts, spreading his legs out further. Hyunwoo glances at him, checking to see if everything’s alright before he proceeds, and when Hoseok doesn’t give him any kind of response, he grabs one of Hoseok’s thighs, pushing it out even further, and slides one finger in him. 

He can hear a sharp intake of breath and Hoseok tenses a little, so Hyunwoo rubs his thigh, keeping his hand still and his eyes on the other. After a moment, Hoseok lets out a shuddering breath and pushes subtly against his hand, so Hyunwoo begins to move his finger in and out of him. 

Hoseok’s eyes flutter shut and his mouth parts open, soft pants leaving his mouth. His hand comes up to tangle in his own hair, tugging at it, but the other hand is more aimless. First, it travels down, Hoseok’s probably driven to touch himself, but he stops midway down his stomach and wraps it around his side instead. It doesn’t stay there for long and moves up, coming to rest between his shoulder and neck, grabbing at the skin. 

He remains silent until Hyunwoo pulls his finger almost completely out of Hoseok and then pushes two in. His pants become mixed with soft whines and occasional moans as Hyunwoo pushes his fingers in and out of him, varying his thrusts with crooking them up and spreading them at random. 

Hoseok doesn’t beg for him to fuck him, nor does he say anything when Hyunwoo eventually pulls his fingers out of him and begins coating his dick in lube. He stays silent as Hyunwoo instructs him to roll over, his face partly pressed into the pillow and his ass in the air, hands supporting him as his legs are still spread out considerably. 

Hoseok breaks the silence once Hyunwoo slides into him, letting out a breath that turns into a moan, followed with a choked curse. His fingers curl and grasp at the sheets and his own hair, while Hyunwoo’s hands are placed on Hoseok’s hips, holding him in place. He stays still, waiting for Hoseok to give him a signal to continue, and moves one of his hands down to his ass cheek, grasping the skin firmly in his hand. 

“Fuck me.” Hoseok tells him, words muffled by the pillow, and so Hyunwoo begins thrusting. 

It’s always like this between them. A rough fucking, keeping away from being too intimate, too connected, by choosing to be mostly positioned so that they’re faced from one another. 

Their relationship is strange - it’s really strange, but Hyunwoo doesn’t really want to question it. Not now, not that he’s ever really wanted to. 

“Fuck, you feel so good.” Hyunwoo mutters, but does so loudly enough that the words should reach Hoseok. “So good.” 

Hyunwoo thrusts in and out of him roughly, just how he likes it, just how Hoseok likes it, each thrust emitting a noise out of the other, while Hyunwoo remains mostly silent aside from his panting and low noises coming from his throat every now and then. He squeezes the ass cheek in his hand hard before lifting his hand up and slapping his ass, causing Hoseok to twitch and let out a noise more high pitched than the others. 

“Hyunwoo,” Hoseok whines, both hands now grasping wildly at the blanket beneath them. 

Hoseok’s so tight, he feels so good, it feels so good to be inside him, to fuck him, to make him become an utter mess beneath him -

“ _Hyunwoo_ , please, stop.” 

Instantly, Hyunwoo stops and pulls out carefully, pushing himself a little away to give Hoseok some space, worried that he did something wrong, worried that he hurt him, because this hasn’t happened before, Hoseok’s never requested him to stop before.

Hoseok turns around and reaches forward to touch Hyunwoo’s face. He doesn’t look hurt, but there’s something to his expression, something foreign, something vulnerable that has the worrying feeling remaining in Hyunwoo’s chest. 

Before he can ask him what’s wrong, Hoseok’s pressed his lips against Hyunwoo’s, eagerly kissing him, hands sliding from his face and to his neck, holding on firmly, keeping him in place. Hyunwoo’s not certain what to make of this, but he decides that it’s safe to wrap his arms around Hoseok’s waist, but then he feels Hoseok lean back, and he’s being pulled down with him, and Hoseok breaks away from the kiss just enough to speak. 

“Fuck me like this, please.” Hoseok asks, “ _Please._ ” He repeats, more timidly than before, and Hyunwoo has no reason to deny him that. 

He lets himself be lowered down with Hoseok, who does not seem to want to let him go. There’s still something off about his expression, he looks so vulnerable and almost shy or even embarrassed, it’s so foreign to Hyunwoo to see him like this, despite having seen the different sides to Hoseok in a bigger range than he suspects the others have. 

Hyunwoo slides back into him, and Hoseok’s mouth hangs open, his eyes fluttering shut and Hyunwoo can’t deny that his beauty is absolutely stunning. It’s almost captivating, how beautiful he is in that moment, and as Hyunwoo begins thrusting again, he starts making these little noises he loves. He's worried about thrusting roughly and hard like he'd done before, still a little timid from their moment before, but decides to make up for it by pushing in deeply instead. It makes Hoseok moan nonetheless, and he's still holding onto Hyunwoo tightly. He tries to press their mouths together, but their kisses are far too sloppy with how Hyunwoo's thrusting, so he slows down to make it easier for them. 

This feels entirely different. It's a lot more intimate than what they're used to, a lot more loving and almost tense, somehow. It's no longer just a rough and fun fuck, not that this isn't enjoyable, but Hyunwoo doesn't mind. It feels good and it looks like it feels good to Hoseok as well, so Hyunwoo doesn't have any complaints, not yet at least. They might regret this in the morning, this might ruin some things between them, make their relationship awkward if they refuse to speak about this, or if they do speak about this, if this is a one time thing that won't ever happen again but will leave them with questions and feelings that never get addressed - but right now it doesn't matter. 

"F-fuck," Hoseok begins, words muffled against Hyunwoo's mouth, and pulls away just enough so he can speak properly. "Fuck me harder." 

"You sure?" Hyunwoo asks, unable to hide the concern in his voice. "Are you okay?" 

Hoseok breaks out into a grin, his entire face lighting up and Hyunwoo can't help but have the ends of his mouth tug up slightly as well. He eagerly nods his head and presses a firm kiss against his mouth. "Fuck me like we always do." 

This isn't like they always do. They're never wrapped up in one another, limbs tangled and clinging onto one another, bodies pressed against one another. They hardly ever kiss during sex itself, or even at all, they're always in such a rush to get to the best part of fucking that they never let themselves linger and... _feel_. 

Even so, Hyunwoo does as Hoseok asks, and begins thrusting in harder. Hoseok's legs are wrapped around him, one of his heel digging into Hyunwoo's small back, and his arms are holding him flush against him. It doesn't take Hoseok long to _really_ realize that they cannot keep kissing like this, so he keeps his lips against Hyunwoo's cheek, mouth open against his skin. He doesn't really moan much, he just gives out little whines and soft, short moans with each thrust. 

Eventually, Hoseok shifts so that his head is buried in the crook of Hyunwoo's neck, one hand coming to tangle in his hair while the other claws at Hyunwoo's back, the moans and the whines becoming louder as he comes closer and closer to his release. Hyunwoo's close too, he probably wouldn't have lasted this long if it hadn't been for the mini scare. 

"I-I'm close, _fuck-_ " Hoseok moans against his skin, his hand rushing down to wrap around his own cock, quickly pumping it because he comes only a second after, clenching around Hyunwoo and tensing against him, fingernails digging into his back and he moans loudly, almost sending Hyunwoo over the edge as well. He doesn't last long after that, coming just as Hoseok's relaxing from his own orgasm. 

They stay still for a moment, silently wrapped up in one another like that, but Hyunwoo's the one who pulls apart, moving from their grasp and pulling his softening cock out of Hoseok, glancing at him to see if he's alright before getting up from the floor and into the bathroom so he can get them a washcloth to clean up. 

When Hyunwoo returns with the damp cloth, he sees that Hoseok's still lying there, eyes looking at nothing in particular, his hand resting on his waist. His eyes flicker to Hyunwoo, and again, there's something foreign about him, but differently than before. Either way, Hyunwoo's too tired to deal with it right now, so he just lies down next to Hoseok and begins to clean off the come on his stomach. Hoseok pushes himself up a little so that he can properly watch Hyunwoo clean him, and then reaches out his hand for the cloth once he's done so he can clean up the come that's dribbling out of him. 

Once he's done, he hands Hyunwoo the cloth again, who tosses it to somewhere to his side. It doesn't really matter, he'll clean it up in the morning. But after all that is done, now comes the question, will Hoseok stay? Sometimes, he wordlessly leaves. Sometimes, he lingers around for a little while longer before making himself disappear. Sometimes, he falls asleep next to Hyunwoo, but has almost always left before he's awoken. In the rarest of times, he's still there when Hyunwoo awakens. 

"You staying?" Hyunwoo asks, because it's nicer than asking if he's going to leave. It makes it more likely that Hoseok will stay, and quite frankly, Hyunwoo always wants him to stay, rather than going out alone into the night. 

"Can I?" Hoseok asks, but he already knows the answer. Hyunwoo's home is always open to him, he's told him that many times before. But, Hyunwoo still nods, he still gives Hoseok the confirmation he already knows he has. 

Hoseok remains still while Hyunwoo pushes himself up a little so that he can grab the blanket from previously that night to pull around him in a half-assed manner, placing his head on the sole pillow. He would have offered it to Hoseok, being the guest and all, but he already knows that Hoseok will just use one of Hyunwoo's limbs as a pillow, anyway. Tonight, he goes for his chest, resting his head against the right side of his chest and wraps his arms around his middle, so Hyunwoo pulls the blanket up further and wraps it around the both of them. 

"Night." Hoseok mumbles, eyes already shut. 

"Good night." Hyunwoo replies, and lets his own eyes flutter shut, exhaustion soon claiming him. 

\-- 

It's still dark out when Hyunwoo awakens, and much time can't have passed since the candles he forgot to put out are still lit. Hoseok's no longer utilizing his chest as a pillow, but he hasn't left, he's still there, lying next to him, with his back facing Hyunwoo. 

Last night, or, er, the events from a few hours ago, definitely will change things. They already have changed things. Hyunwoo has always cared for Hoseok, as he supposes the others have as well, but Hoseok's never really been particularly close with anyone. Not like Minhyuk is with Hyungwon, not like Kihyun is with Changkyun - he's always been there without ever really placing his roots in the ground and finding a stable ground. 

Hoseok's always been somewhat of a mystery. No one has an issue with him, he's always welcomed by them, but if Hyunwoo were to individually pull each and every one of them aside and ask them about Hoseok, he'd assume they'd all say they weren't particularly close with him, and would probably point to someone else to question. Hoseok's kind, he cares for them and he's good to them, but he's also protective of them, protective in a destructive manner. 

Maybe that's a good reason why they keep him around, why they've kept him close all this time. Hoseok shows no mercy. He's not afraid to harm if it means a positive outlook for himself. He's not afraid of doing that which is bad if it gets him good results. 

Hyunwoo sometimes suspects he doesn't really know him any better than the rest of them do. They've never really defined what they are and they're not exactly exclusive. Hoseok's slept with Jooheon as well, and there was something quiet and unlabeled between him and Hyungwon in the past, and Hyunwoo has his suspicions about a few other things. It doesn't bother him, however. He can't demand that Hoseok stays with him and only him because Hoseok isn't his. He's never been his, and he likely never will be. 

Hoseok's like the ocean. Beautiful and untamed.

But Hyunwoo worries about him sometimes. Hoseok never really talks about himself much nor does his smile ever seem that genuine, and after their moment together, after how he'd gotten speechless at knowing Hyunwoo had been thinking of him, after how he'd taken it slow instead of rushing right to their releases, after how he'd asked Hyunwoo to stop so that he could face him and kiss him and hold him, after how he'd practically begged that they'd share an intimate moment rather than an impersonal fuck, Hyunwoo has a lot more worries for him. 

Getting some more sleep sounds optimal for Hyunwoo - it's still way too late for him to start going on and about, and he can still feel that he could use some rest, so he chooses to curl up against Hoseok again. He reaches forward, snaking his arm around the other's waist, as gently as he can to avoid waking him, and pulls his body closer against his, but Hoseok responds by pushing himself against Hyunwoo too, and tilts his head a little, but not enough that Hyunwoo can see him. 

Reaching forward, Hyunwoo presses a gentle kiss against his shoulder, and places his chin on the top of his shoulder, allowing him to see Hoseok's face clearly. Hoseok meets his eyes and offers him a weak smile, but quickly breaks the eye contact, eyes drifting to watch the flames of the candles. 

They stay like that for a while. Hyunwoo has to shift a little to get remotely comfortable in this position, and chooses to rest his cheek against Hoseok's shoulder instead of digging his chin into him, while Hoseok just keeps his eyes on the flames, clearly deep in thought. 

"What are you thinking about?" Hyunwoo asks after a while, voice hardly above a whisper. 

Hoseok is silent for a moment, but eventually, he speaks. 

"You." 

Hyunwoo snorts at the words, angling his face so that he can press another kiss to Hoseok's shoulder before letting it fall back into place. There's a faint smile on Hoseok's lips, but he doesn't meet his eyes, and the smile fades away quickly. The look on his face is a bit grim, it's not a look Hyunwoo likes, so he decides to try for a little bit of a distraction from whatever it is that's bothering him. 

"Didn't you get any sleep?"

"No." Hoseok answers faintly. "You should go back to sleep, though."

 _You should stop questioning me_ , is really what he means. Hoseok doesn't get personal with them, he doesn't share the things on his mind or his emotional burden. They've all tried to get him to speak, but they've also all stopped trying. Hyunwoo knows that it concerns Minhyuk and Jooheon, how little he shares about himself, and it concerns Hyunwoo himself too, but they all have so much on their own mind that they've never really done anything about it. If Hoseok wishes to rather suffer in silence than opening up, then that's his choice. 

It doesn't mean he has to suffer alone. Hoseok doesn't wish to talk about it, and he doesn't seem to want to talk now, either. He doesn't want to get personal, he doesn't want to express himself and let Hyunwoo in to his mind, but that's alright. Hyunwoo can distract him in other ways. 

Hyunwoo lifts his head up from the shoulder and brings up his hand to push it down, forcing Hoseok to roll over. He tries to maintain his eyes on the candles until it becomes too much of a strain, and then he shifts them onto Hyunwoo. There's no change in his expression, he's looking at him with that grim look so Hyunwoo doesn't really waste any time in closing the gap between the two, pressing his lips against Hoseok's, and begins kissing him lazily. 

At first, Hoseok simply gives in just enough of an effort to somewhat match his movements, but quickly afterwards he becomes more invested in the kisses, his body shifting slightly underneath Hyunwoo, hands coming up to touch his skin and hold him close. 

The shift in their relationship is clear, but Hyunwoo doesn't know if it's for better or for worse. It doesn't seem to be just for some rough fucking every now and then anymore - what they shared the night before, it was far more intimate than their previous encounters. What they're currently sharing is a new development as well. They've never just spent time kissing, everything they did was always so rushed. They'd never really slowed down and allowed themselves to enjoy and explore these things properly. 

It feels good, it feels so much better like this, but Hoseok is still blocking him out. If Hyunwoo's feelings for him grow, if he starts to develop something, this might be an issue. Hoseok's never really managed to hold anyone down, to have anyone be closely attached to him, because he doesn't let them. 

But with the way Hoseok is exhaling contently and letting out quiet little hums into their kisses, with the way his hand has come up to cup Hyunwoo's cheek, with how his thumb is lazily stroking the skin just below his eye back and forth in a soothing manner, Hyunwoo doesn't find himself caring that much. 

Their lives have changed so drastically as of lately, even if they haven't really realized it yet. They've gone from the path of being just some hooligans wandering around on the streets of a crumbling town as a result of an ongoing war and a government that doesn't care for them, to being rebellious figures that have taken matters into their own hand, putting their lives on the line to heal and destroy and tear down the choking claw that has a hold on their town so that they can all be free againn. 

This new path of theirs doesn't come without dangers. If they're found out, if it gets revealed they're practicing witchcraft, that they're doing that which is forbidden, the government will drag them away, will fake their deaths and wipe them from history, but keep them locked somewhere in a dungeon, torturing them to get as much as they can out of them until their bodies can't take it anymore. Their deaths won't be merciful. 

But they're doing this for a reason. The condition they're forced to live in needs to stop. There has to be a change. They don't have anything - they don't have any proper health care, education is little to none and no longer mandatory, jobs are scarce and resources are limited. They don't live well, the people they care for don't live well, and it needs to stop. 

It needs to stop because if it doesn't, Hyunwoo will lose the only relative he still has left that's cared enough about him that he hasn't abandoned him yet. 

So why should he care? Why should he wrap himself up in thinking about what ifs and what could be. What he has right now with Hoseok feels good, so why should he push it into an uncertain area by trying to invade a part of Hoseok he doesn't wish to share? What Hyunwoo should do, what Hyunwoo is about to do is simply just enjoying this thing he shares with Hoseok, whatever it is, and letting things flow naturally while they can. He should enjoy moments like these while he still can. He should cherish this bond they share while they have it.

It's impossible to tell when he'll lose it. 

**Author's Note:**

> I Don't Know How To Write Smut But That Won't Stop Me, an autobiography by me.


End file.
